Dougie Brimson. Author, screenwriter, serial moaner.
As I have previously mentioned, I receive a lot of emails asking for advice about writing. Primarily, these are of the ‘where do I start?’ variety as opposed to the ‘how do I enrich my novel with deep and meaningful subtext?’ sort but that’s fine with me. After all, I’m not exactly DH Lawrence or Dickens and to be fair, most of the time a large portion of my brain is actively tied up with trying to comprehend how I’m able to get away with earning a living as a writer. Although thinking about it, this is possibly why so many people do ask me. ‘If that talentless tosser can do it….’ etc, etc.
So let’s get this clear, writing a novel is easy. You simply sit at a keyboard, tap away at the keys until you have around 75 thousand words and there you go. It’s a novel. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can do that.
Screenplays are even easier. General thinking is that a page equals a minute of action so you’re only looking at about a hundred sheets of A4 which equates to around 20 thousand words. That’s a little over a quarter of the words required for a novel. Absolute piece of piss.
So what are you waiting for?
I am of course being flippant (I know it’s hard to tell sometimes) but trust me, there are people who really do think it’s that simple and in a certain sense it actually is. What they fail to recognise is the hard bit. And that’s the process of gathering together those 75 thousand words and putting them in some kind of coherent order. That takes time, effort, blood, sweat and tears.
Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those who subscribes to the theory that everyone has a book in them and I would most definitely urge everyone to have a go at writing for all kinds of reasons. As someone who is lucky enough to be able to do it all day every day, I can tell you with hand on heart that it can be hilarious fun, massively therapeutic, hugely exhilarating and even bloody exciting. But it can also be lonely, frustrating, heart breaking and even soul destroying.
Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way nor I suspect, would any other writer. Because that’s why we do it.
My name is Dougie Brimson; author, screenwriter and lover of all things blokey. This is my blog.
In the main, it will feature my opinions, provide the odd bit of advice or possibly be nothing more than a good rant just to get something off my chest but it might occasionally contain words and thoughts that are best described as provocative. As a consequence, please be aware that what you might read may not necessarily reflect the true opinions of the author but are instead, designed purely to illicit a response of some kind.
However, if you take offence to something you read or is inferred, too bad. If you know me, you should know better anyway and if you don't, please feel free to go elsewhere or better still, either email me to voice your concerns or simply leave a comment! I will always respond.
Either way... lighten up. It's only the bloody internet.
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